Goals are great. They push us in the direction we want to go and they help us achieve more than we could otherwise. I am a huge advocate for setting and using goals.
However.
Sometimes we need to give up on our goals.
Cue *gasp*
I know, right? Giving up just seems so… icky. Clearly we should press on and hustle harder and don’t give up until we reach our dreams.
But sometimes we’re actually doing what is best by giving up.
This seems counter intuitive but it’s actually a mindset shift that can help us be far more successful overall.
“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.”
— Eloise Ristad
“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”
— Winston Churchill
Sometimes trying harder isn’t the solution.
Sometimes we need to give up our current project and switch tactics or change goals completely.
Giving Up Isn’t Always Easy
Failure stinks.
We might feel bad about ourselves or feel judged by others. We might have expectations we feel guilty about not reaching.
There can be lots of icky emotions tied up in this.
Giving up is harder because of the fallacy of sunk costs.
The concept of sunk costs is used a lot in business and economics. Basically it boils down to: Once we’ve paid money for something, we’re invested and we don’t want to give it up even if it’s a bad idea.
For example, if we pay money for some ice cream we will then eat that ice cream even if we realize it’s actually a flavor we think is gross.
The money we paid is the sunk cost. We don’t get that money back whether we eat the ice cream or not. Logically the money shouldn’t influence whether we eat the ice cream at this point- it’s irrelevant because it’s already gone.
However, we all know the money paid influences how we view that ice cream. We feel we should eat that ice cream even if it makes us sick.
That is the fallacy of sunk costs.
It leads us to make decisions and do things we otherwise would recognize as being a bad idea.
With our writing, the fallacy of sunk costs may look like refusing to give up on a writing project even when it no longer makes sense to pursue that goal.
In this instance the cost spent is our time.
This may lead us to clinging to writing goals that are clearly not helpful anymore or projects that are going in circles, just because we don’t want to feel like we’ve been wasting our time.
However, the good news is that this time spent is not wasted even if we never complete that particular project.
Giving up on a project or setting it aside doesn’t mean that time wasn’t still worthwhile. We as writers are growing and learning. Our experiences will feed into our next project and the next, leading us to be creating better and better things.
For more reading on the fallacy of sunk costs (because this is a fascinating subject!) check out:
The Sunk Cost Fallacy is Ruining Your Decisions: Here’s How – Time
Sunk Cost Fallacy – Behavioral Economics
So How Do We Know When To Give Up Our Goals?
We don’t want to give up on our goals the second things get hard or the moment we get distracted with a cool new idea. Being able to persevere is important, too.
Here are some signs that it may be time to reevaluate what we’re working on:
We Suspect Our Overall Goals have Changed
Sometimes dreams change, and that’s okay. It’s important to check in with yourself from time to time to identify what your priorities are and what your big picture goals are.
If our big goals change, that means our smaller goals and day to day projects will probably need to change to reflect that.
The fact is we have limited time. We can’t do everything! It’s important to recognize what is important to us so we can invest in that first.
We’ve Gotten Off Track
Sometimes even if our goals haven’t changed we may find we’ve lost track of what we’re even working toward.
Maybe our goal is to publish an epic fantasy but we’ve gotten distracted by writing fanfic or brainstorming ideas for a memoir. Not that there’s anything wrong with fanfic or a memoir! But those activities won’t be helping us make progress on our epic fantasy.
Our Writing is Hindering Our Mental Health or Other Priorities
If you find your work is consistently stressing you out or you dread needing to do your writing, maybe it’s time to reevaluate.
Mental health is important and should be a priority. We probably have other priorities as well, such as our family and friends and paying the bills.
Especially when you may have external stressors in your life (hello coronavirus) it is important to find a good writing-life balance. Sometimes we may need to adjust our goals in order to make this happen.
We’re Stuck.
Whether you want to call it writer’s block or something else, sometimes we just aren’t making good progress. Sometimes this is our subconscious telling us we should be working on something else.
When this happens it may be worth reexamining your writing goals and see if you still feel like you’re heading in a good direction, whether the project is worth the time and effort it will require.
How to give up well
Evaluate priorities and goals
In order to do this we need to step back and really take the time to think through what our goals and priorities are. What do we want? What is important to us? What is our idea of a good or successful life?
Evaluate mental health
How is our mental health these days? How does our writing fit into that?
Evaluate how our current goals and projects fit into this
This is where we decide if our current projects and goals should be: kept, set aside, scrapped completely, or tweaked.
Review new goals and priorities to confirm we’re on the right track
Repeat as needed.
There’s no shame in changing our strategies and there’s no shame in taking care of ourselves.
Ultimately, we want to be finding what works for us and what will lead us where we want to go. This is worth as many brainstorming sessions and different versions of our goals until we find something that feels right.
It’s definitely better to adjust our goals than to have our checklists lead us someplace we don’t want to go!
And hopefully our new goals can bring us much happiness and success 🙂
For more reading on when to quit in order to succeed:
Successful People Know When and What to Give up and Move Forward – Lifehack
Good Idea or Bad Idea? – Justin Jackson
Why You Need To Quit To Succeed – The Minority Mindset Team
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